$RACOONracoons
A scrappy Humboldt Park raccoon rehabilitator storms Chicago City Hall to reclaim her rogue kit before it leaks the mayor's explosive private ledger to the press.
A scrappy Humboldt Park raccoon rehabilitator storms Chicago City Hall to reclaim her rogue kit before it leaks the mayor's explosive private ledger to the press.
Synopsis
Elena Vargas, a no-nonsense raccoon rehabber from Humboldt Park, watches in horror as her smallest kit, Bandit, slips its crate and vanishes into the night with the mayor's stolen ledger in its mouth. What begins as a frantic chase through Chicago's gleaming corridors of power quickly spirals into a city-wide scandal when the ledger reveals bribes, payoffs, and a secret plan to bulldoze the park for a luxury tower. Bandit becomes an unwitting whistleblower, popping up on security cams and live feeds while Elena dodges security, befriends a disgruntled aide, and evades the mayor's fixer. As night falls, Elena must decide whether to grab the ledger and run or let the truth destroy the machine that threatens her neighborhood. In the end, Bandit's adorable chaos forces a reckoning that no one in City Hall saw coming.
The story
Elena loses Bandit during a routine release and tracks him to City Hall; she sneaks inside and learns the ledger contains proof of the mayor's corruption.
Bandit evades capture while leaking pages on live TV; Elena allies with a jaded intern and outruns security as the mayor's henchmen close in on both her and the raccoon.
Elena confronts the mayor in chambers, Bandit drops the final damning page, the scandal erupts, and Elena walks out with her kit and a promise to protect the park.
The cast
Tough, tattooed Humboldt Park raccoon rehabber who treats every animal like family and refuses to let City Hall steamroll her neighborhood.
dream cast: America Ferrera
Tiny, clever kit with a knack for grabbing shiny objects; his escape sets off the chain of events that topples a political empire.
dream cast: voiced by Awkwafina
Charismatic, ruthless Chicago mayor whose private ledger details years of bribes and a plot to raze Humboldt Park.
dream cast: Oscar Isaac
Young, burned-out mayoral aide who helps Elena after realizing the ledger dooms his own future.
dream cast: John Boyega
Hungry local journalist who catches wind of the story and turns Bandit's antics into front-page news.
dream cast: Zendaya
Veteran night-shift custodian who knows every back hallway and becomes Elena's unlikely guide through City Hall.
dream cast: Danny Trejo
Dream crew
in the style of Taika Waititi — whimsical animal chaos with political bite
in the style of Diablo Cody — sharp female voice and biting satire
in the style of Alexandre Desplat — playful yet urgent tension-building score
Cold open
INT. HUMBOLDT PARK WILDLIFE CENTER - NIGHT Rain hammers the tin roof. ELENA VARGAS (30s, fierce, ink up her arms) kneels in a wire pen, bottle-feeding a squirming kit. Five other raccoons sleep in a pile. ELENA Okay, Bandit. Tomorrow you go home. The smallest kit, BANDIT, stares at her with huge eyes, then bolts for an open vent. Elena lunges. Too late. Bandit vanishes into the ceiling, dragging a leather ledger he snatched from her desk. ELENA (CONT'D) Bandit! That is NOT yours! She races outside into the downpour as a tiny silhouette scampers across the street toward the glowing dome of City Hall. EXT. CHICAGO CITY HALL - NIGHT Bandit squeezes through a basement grate. Elena arrives panting, watching the ledger disappear into the building. Thunder cracks.
Why now
With trust in institutions at historic lows and urban wildlife stories dominating feeds, this timely comedy turns a raccoon's caper into a sharp takedown of corrupt power while celebrating the scrappy locals who refuse to be erased.
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Screenplay draft
Title: racoons Credit: Written by Author: richardwboase Draft date: 21 May 2026 Contact: richardwboase@gmail.com FADE IN. INT. HUMBOLDT PARK REHAB CENTER - DAY Sunlight pours through round windows onto colorful climbing structures and soft padded floors. A dozen rounded raccoons tumble and snack on fruit. NORA BELL, late twenties with a warm rounded face and soft brown hair in a loose bun, kneels beside a small nest box. NORA Breakfast time, little guy. Inside the box, SCAMP, a tiny expressive raccoon kit wearing a red bandana, blinks awake and reaches tiny paws toward a shiny metal bowl. Nora clips a small harness around his middle. NORA Stay close today. No more adventures until you're bigger. Scamp gives a playful chirp. A neighbor kid waves from the park outside. Nora smiles, then turns to fill more bowls. The harness buckle slips from her fingers for one second. Scamp darts toward an open door where a delivery truck sparkles in the sunlight. INT. HUMBOLDT PARK REHAB CENTER - DAY Nora kneels beside Scamp's nest box. She fastens the last strap of his tiny red harness. NORA Sometimes the smallest paws leave the biggest footprints, Scamp. Scamp chirps softly and nuzzles her hand. Warm golden light bounces off cream walls and leafy greens. INT. HUMBOLDT PARK REHAB CENTER - DAY Nora moves through the bright main room, setting out bowls of fruit for a family of rounded raccoons. They tumble over padded floors and climb toy trees. Neighbors wave from swings visible through open windows. Scamp watches everything with sparkling eyes. EXT. HUMBOLDT PARK REHAB CENTER - DAY A glittering delivery truck pulls up outside. Scamp's head snaps toward the sparkle. His harness buckle loosens. He bolts. INT. CITY HALL ROTUNDA - DAY Scamp skitters through the grand marble entrance, tiny paws clicking on stone. He spots an open briefcase near the mayor's photo op. Mayor HORACE PEMBERTON, early 60s and portly in a bouncing pinstripe suit, poses with staff. Scamp leaps, snatches the leather ledger, and vanishes behind a column. INT. CITY HALL ROTUNDA - DAY Nora arrives at the massive doors, out of breath. Alarms begin to wail. NORA Oh no. If he causes trouble in there... She hesitates, hand on the brass handle. INT. CITY HALL ROTUNDA - DAY Nora pushes inside. BENNY RUIZ, early 20s with round glasses and a park-ranger sticker-covered bag, appears from a side stairwell. BENNY I saw the kit go up the east stairs! I can unlock the dumbwaiter. NORA Thank you. I'm Nora. From the rehab center. BENNY Benny. Let's find him before the mayor's team does. They hurry after the sound of tiny paws. INT. CITY HALL VENT SHAFT - DAY Benny crawls ahead through a narrow vent, flashlight bobbing. BENNY I've always wanted to be a park ranger. Protecting places like Humboldt. This is kind of practice, right? NORA (laughs softly) You've got the heart for it, Benny. INT. CITY HALL ROTUNDA - DAY Scamp sleds down a sweeping banister on the open ledger, pages flapping like wings. He lands in a spinning globe that rolls across the council floor, startling two council members with a playful peek-a-boo chirp. INT. CITY HALL ARCHIVES - DAY Nora corners Scamp between dusty film reels. The kit clutches the ledger. She reaches for him, then freezes, reading an open page. NORA They're planning to bulldoze the park... for luxury towers. Scamp squeaks in alarm. INT. CITY HALL HALLWAY - DAY Security teams flood the marble corridors. Mayor Pemberton rallies staff, face red and booming. MAYOR HORACE PEMBERTON Find that animal and that ledger! No one sees those pages! INT. CITY HALL VENT SHAFT - DAY Scamp hides alone in the dark shaft, the ledger slipping from his paws. Nora loses sight of him through the grate. NORA (whisper) Scamp... INT. CITY HALL ROTUNDA - DAY Nora sits alone on the wide marble steps, head in hands. NORA I was only trying to keep him safe. Now I've put the whole park at risk. Soft orchestral strings underscore the quiet moment. INT. CITY HALL PRESS ROOM - DAY Nora gathers the rehab raccoons and Benny near the side entrance. NORA We do this gently. No one gets hurt. We just... let the truth out. Benny nods, excited. The raccoons chirp in agreement. INT. CITY HALL PRESS ROOM - DAY Live cameras roll. Scamp drops from a vent onto the podium and places the open ledger at the mayor's feet. Pages flutter across the stage in a cascade. Reporters gasp. Mayor Pemberton stammers. MAYOR HORACE PEMBERTON I... this is... a misunderstanding! Nora steps forward with the raccoons at her side. NORA The park stays. The people decide. The crowd erupts in cheers. INT. HUMBOLDT PARK REHAB CENTER - DUSK The center glows with warm bounce light. Protected parkland stretches outside the windows. Scamp naps safely on Nora's lap, red bandana askew. Neighborhood kids and animals play together in the soft evening light. FADE OUT.
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